Bored..

I am happy feeling like am sunshine,
little but am useless thats when you shine...
Yes this whole world can make you sick to your stomach,
so i put on my headfones and listen to the deftones...
Reborn left to sigh, recure maybe ill..
Be born and simplify, the way I did, before
I will come clean, it gets worse - its more
I get bored...

Bittersweet Symphony

I guess I'm a dreamer
My heart is gold
I had to run away high
So I wouldn't come home low
Just when things went right
Didn't mean they were always wrong
Just take me along
And you'll never feel left all alone
Take me to your... heart
Feel me in your.... bones
Just one more night
And I'm coming off this long and winding road...

I guess that I seem
To make romantic dreams
Up in lights
Fallin' off the silver screen
My heart's like an open book
For the whole world to read
Sometimes nothing... keeps me
Together at the seams

It's a bittersweet,
Symphony
This life.
Just tryin' to make ends meet.
You're a slave to the money,
Then you die..

There's no change...
I can't change,
But I'm here in my mind
I'm here in my mind
Everyone are just a million different people from one
Day to the next
I can't change
My mind
No...!!

varun....simply varun...!

I have a problem but I cannot explain,
I have no reason why it should have been so plain, Have no questions but I sure have excuse,
I lack the reason why I should be so confused.
I sit, in my desolate room, no lights, no music,
Just anger, Ive killed everyone,
Im away forever, but Im feeling better,
How do I feel, what do I say,
In the end it all goes away....

Click away....

If I soak my hands in others blood am I sick,
If I wash my hands in others blood am I sick,
If I drench myself in others blood am I sick,
If I bathe myself in others blood...???
I'm just a soiled dirty boy.....lol !

See the animal in it's cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs

What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?

What if all the world's inside of your head
Just creations of your own?
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you really are alone
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees

What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?

She haunts the roads, she waits for a new face
The arms red and injured she wants to rise she cant till we have faced
I'll cut your armies down, and turn your heart!!!

You wait, I'll wait
I'll lie awake for you

I'll cut your armies down, and turn your heart!!!

You wait, I'll wait
I'll fly away
I'll break
Dowwwwwnnnnnn

She haunts the road, she waits for a new face

" Sounds of my life...
sounds like the voices of my mind
wonder to be confirmed
never achieved to confirm
To find me into a place...
a place where i can break away...
Feel me and, can't you see
Now and then..
To me, here ....can't you see
Please...hold me now....
breathing under the sky...
to cover all the lost time...
Why don't you add a few gem's to me..
what up with you..??
leave me and go now....
can't you see...
clear me and go now....
can't you see....
break me...hold me...!!

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I would cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get
What I deserved
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting until the firing stopped
Ohhh and I'm...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off


Ohhh and I...
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off
Ohhh and I..
Just waiting 'til the shine wears off

Froze asleep, coma deep
I dream I´m out with you
alone at the sea....!

Why do we need religion...??

Not a believer inside the mosque, am I
Nor a pagan disciple of false rites
Not the pure amongst the impure
Neither Moses, nor the Pharoh

Bulleh! to me, I am not known

Not in the holy Vedas, am I
Nor in opium, neither in wine
Not in the drunkard`s craze
Niether awake, nor in a sleeping daze

In happiness nor in sorrow, am I
Neither clean, nor a filthy mire
Not from water, nor from earth
Neither fire, nor from air, is my birth

Not an Arab, nor Lahori
Neither Hindi, nor Nagauri
Hindu, Turk (Muslim), nor Peshawari
Nor do I live in Nadaun

Secrets of religion, I have not known
From Adam and Eve, I am not born
I am not the name I assume
Not in stillness, nor on the move

I am the first, I am the last
None other, have I ever known
I am the wisest of them all
Bulleh! do I stand alone?

Bulleh! to me, I am not known

11 am - Incubus \m/

seven a.m.,
the garbage truck beeps as it backs up
and I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away.
Could I push rewind?
The credits traverse signifying the end but I missed the best part.
Could we please go back to start?

Forgive my indecision

Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side.
But then again, a day will come when I want off that ride.

eleven a.m.,
by now you would think that I would be up
but my bedsheets shade the heat of choices I've made.
And what did I find?
I never thought I could want someone so much
'cause now you're not here and I'm knee deep in
that old fear.

Forgive my indecision... I am only a man

Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side.
But then again, a day will come when I want off that ride.

Twelve pm and my dusty telephone rings.
Heavy head up from my pillow, who could it be?
I hope it's you.

Something that i would miss 4eva..!!

Paint the streets in white!
Death is the standard
Breach for a complex prize!

I think it's sweet of you
And your parents are proud...
But I would expect it from anyone
Now to protect life's indigenous sound!!!

How the streets they swell!
While the animals make their way through the crowds!

If you keep listening you can hear it for miles...
God, I trust everyone quicker with every faint smile!!

And the crowd goes wild!
And the camera makes you seasick!
God it's so sweet of you and I know you're proud
And the car bomb hits quick click, faint smile!
It's the same sound... it's the same, same... sound....

Go for the jugular, cut the vein
And kiss it away, kiss it away, kiss it away
Everything that brings me pain

It's not as hard to bend in the end
So let's do it again, do it again, do it again
And this feels so new.......!

" Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts......
The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal.But of course... it probably isn't.
The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary..
Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet.
Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back....!!!
That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige"."

You cant..you cant stop a bullet...!!
im giving u my trigger....but you better never pull it..!!

this is what i am
this is what i have become
repeating yesterday
drain me of my very essence
to form again what lasts
this is what i am
this is what i have become
repeating yesterday
drain me of my very essence
this is what i am
this is what i have become
what is love without sacrifice
my tears hold no weight
if my commitment is only failure
repeat yesterday
each day i am born again to be
a child in the eyes of love
repeating yesterday
repeating...
drain me of my very essence
to form again what lasts

Pardon me...while i burst...
Pardon me.. while i burst...
burst into Flames...!

Imagine

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people Sharing all the world
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

darker side of Nonsense......!!

Shouting out loud 2 her..!!! she likes it newys...

Take me away...take me away....away...mite as well be urs.....
take me away...take me away....take me away...away..!!!! i wana be urs..!!!

Is this what i want..??

back 2 writing....finally...nutin sad 2 write about...seriously..!!
dunno finally tins r settling down...jus dh way i want...! doing stuff dh way i want too...
but onetin has changed...im not hurtin evryone nd neone i love nwdys??? suprising..
back 2 skool...!! doin old shit tht i love doin.....earnin bucks....ride freely at night wid wind blowin across....makes u feel...yeah..!! finally stepped outta sumtin..sumtin tht was stuck on me since years..!!
dh change cn be seen...its not wat im sayin....its from wat im hearing...its what from ppl tel me...not tht i care..bt yea does make one smile wen sumones talkin good abt u no matter u care or no???
responsible....down 2 earth...serious...quiet...soft spoken...mellowed down....seein tins xactly dh way dey are..?? suprised?? yeah..im surpised too..!!
maybe tins had 2 turn dis way?? i dnt regret on loosin netin...
Maybe dey had 2 be 4 a certain period in my life...sadly dey cnt make it along wid me 2 my future...so should i jus say thats like a good thing?? lol
finally i got time 4 myself....not crowded nemore..! got fu...njoy wid fu..hope dey stay..!! ( S.S.P.N)
its like evrytin is swingin my way..(touch wood..) not tht i aint lovin it nd i loved livin life in a sad nd pathetic way..its fun 2 do wat one wants 2 do..not tht sumone wants u 2..
ohhh btw...monster isnt walkin on dh line nemore!!!
fuck dh line i say...!!! wch line?? erased it..!
but dunno wished dh lines remained....dunno pretty much confusin abt dh line....haa chuck it..!!
life has bcom more like guitar tuned on a amp wid high volts passin by...nd dh d drop patches send u on a trip..!!
its all abt dh change...coz u cn change netine nd evrytin thts possible....
or is it actually dh change or jus tins re arrange in itself..??
i mean do u wait til dh point sumtin hits u 2 realise..?? or sumone knocks sum sense in2 ur head..??
hahahahhahahahahahhhaha a wicked smile..!!
tell u sumtin?? i wil always hurt evryone i love..!!! if i wer u...i wld run away..!!
lol..!!
confused..???

Im playing the game...the one that will take me too my end...

Im waiting for the rains.....to wash who im...!

White lies..!

thing tht dsnt take u ne wer....makes one nutin bt a junk tht ppl cn pick on..! lol
though white lies r considered 2 be like ....like sumtin tht hardly ppl pay attention 2..
it is dis lie tht is said or committed 4 ones benefit or individual reasons...blah blah ....!!
it does get worse...! fcks evrytin around one...! bcoms a wound tht lets all other flies nd maggit 2 hv fun wid...! den dey say...u gv a chance 2 des maggits 2 fed on...ritE?
newys..! accrdin 2 my guardian angel...! thts a other tin tht she actually cnt tolerate lies..bt yea newys..! its like fear makes one lie..? lol wtf?? really??
fear of ben accepted dh way ur...fear of ben accepted dh way u do tins or whole perception of ben accepted ...dh fear..!! leads one 2 lie...? really....neva thot abt it...did neone of u did?
sum lie jus...it comes out...tlkin abt white lies...eg: ohhh im here..(bt he/she is soo not there,,!!)
der is a diff way ppl take des lies....its like a weird fuck up wen its all in dh open..!
im sure of nt makin ne shit sense since dh way i hv started speakin....i wanted 2 say or try sayin..or wateva....white lies is another fuck up...its like a cancer tht grows under u nd u dnt evn kno til the panic button is pressed...or u get a real eye opener by ur close pal or ur gf/bf tht " hey dude or miss...wateva u ben up2 is shit nd try nt doin it coz it is makin u one big laughin stock nuttin else..." lol.
did i make sum sense?? lol kinda yes 2 myself...!!!

hmmm.....

I have a dream of a scene between the green hills
Clouds pull away and the sunlight's revealed
People don't talk about keeping it real
It's understood that they actually will
And intoxicated and stimulated memories
Staring in the trees, paranoid, are gone in the breeze
Watch them flee,
Take a walk with me and what you'll see
Is a land where the sand is made up of crushed up wax
And the sky beyond me is krylon blue
And everybody speaks in a dialect of rhyme
And i have left materialism behind them
Because say what you will, and say what you might
But i don't give a fuck who it's for at the end of the night....
So let it be known, the only reason that i do this
Is so you can pick it up and just bang your head to it...
Me floatin overhead like a space odyssey monolith
Over seeing the game, over being part of the same ol' thing
It's all gonna change in a hurricane of darkness and pain
And acidic rain and promises that i won't do it again...
I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down.....
just so you know
all it was was something beautiful
when tides and dreams dont seem so tall at all....
Hear me spit on you, wither I Remold into gold and bury I from - Sun....
Reborn left to sigh, recure maybe I'll
Be born and simplify - The way I lie - Before
I get bored.....
I'm smeared across the page, and doused in gasoline
I wear you like a stain, yet I'm the one who's obscene...
I'm ripped across the ditch, and settled in the dirt
and I wear you like a stitch, yet I'm the one who's hurt...
My end
It justifies my means
All I ever do is delay
My every attempt to evade
The end of the road and my end
It justifies my means....

neverendingyouline....

neverendingyouline....
is the line tht dh monster walks on....dh so called spineless monster...
he follows dis line weneva or whereva he is tld 2 by....
he.......(contd....---> (<---contd)....spins...dances....walks...runs...fights...destroys... cries...hurts...dh way dh line points..."The Line.." ( am i gettin to confusing??? words like the line? spineless monster??? lol i cnt be tht personal ova here...actually der r loads of ppl currently readin my blogg..previous posts wer pretty personal nd straight attacking ones...sumtimes frustration makes u write shit isnt it??? lol ) back 2 monster..!! monster..ohhh monster...where has dh line taken u now?? does it end or will it dragg u till the end... line tht monster hangs on to...dh line around monsters neck...nd den..straight in dos....dos...dos...lol hv a question 4 u monster....!! hv u eva seen a speedbreaker??? how bend is it?? or hv u seen a bracket??...okk lemme show it 2 u......' ( ) ' saw??? see how bend it is??? now monster ohhhh spineless monster....now tel me how bend are u 4 tht line.... im jus waitin wen tht line starts prickin u....!! the one prick up your ass nd then u realise wat a Jack ass u wer...lol!!

Wonders in pshop...!!!!urhhhhhhhhhh!!! \m/

from left to right :- breezer, Old Monk , DSP Black & Old Monk again...

Funny Shit...!!

17th Feb '86 , 5:30 A:M / 17th Feb '86 , 8:40 A:M.......lol...!!

To whomsoeva concerned....!!! lol

Come on, bitch, show me, pick me up, throw me
Lift me up, hold me, just like you told me
You was gonna do, that's what I thought, you're pitiful
I'm rid of you, all of you, Ja, you'll get it too!

Now go to sleep bitch!
Die, motherfucker, die! Ugh, time's up, bitch, close ya eyes
Go to sleep, bitch!
Why are you still alive????? How many times I gotta say, close ya eyes?
And go to sleep bitch!
Die motherfucker die, bye, bye, motherfucker, bye, bye!
Go to sleep bitch!!!!
Fckin do u jus pick me up to push me down again....!!!
Die nameless bitch...!!

My 7th cup of tea as i waited for my Gaurdian Angel....lol ( 19th Nov )

Be Quiet and Drive....(must have)

This town dont feel mine
I'm fast to get away-FAR
I dressed you in her clothes
Now drive me far - away, away, away
It feels good to know your mine
Now drive me far - away, away, away FAR away
I dont care where just FAR - away
And I dont care FAR - away
And I dont care where just FAR - away

- Deftones....

Losers Intuition ---->

What if you meant it?
We meant it when we sang along.
What the fuck did you think I was pointing my finger at?
My see-through-hero,
You can't block the bullets I'm going to shoot at you.

This is our life...

And you open the door and you step
inside...
We're inside our minds
Now imagine your pain as a white ball of
healing light
That's right, your pain
The pain itself is a white ball of healing
light.....
lol i dont think so...!!!!
This is your life, good to the last drop
Doesn't get any better than this
This is your life and it's ending one minute
at a time
This isn't a what your,  this isn't a
weekend retreat
Where you are now you can't even
imagine what the bottom will
be like...
Only after disaster can we be resurrected
It's only after you've lost everything that
you're free to do anything
Nothing is static, everything is appaling,
everything is falling apart,
This is our life,
Doesn't get any better than this,
this is our life and its ending one-minute at a time...
We are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
We the same decaying organic matter as everything else
We are all part of the same compost heap
We are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world...
We not your bank account
We are not the clothes you wear
We are not the contents of your wallet
We are not our disease
We are not our college life
We are not the car we drive
We are not your fucking selves..!!!
We have to give up...
We have to realize that someday we will die
Until we know  that, we are useless.!
I say let me never be complete,
I say may I never be content,
I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth
I say we have to give up
I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may....!!

Quotes :-

" Pretending that we live dsnt make us alive..."

" Life is ours..We live it our way..."

" Revolution the only solution.."

" Its ok to eat fish coz fish dsnt have feelings..." ( lol )

" Emptiness is filled in everything, theres only flesh, blood and no soul..."

" Don't be tree trunk, don't fall on my living roots.."

" People we all grow up to die.."

" Dreams are made winding through my head.."

" Spiral never ends.."

" Hear me spit on you..wither i Remold into gold and bury i from the sun.."

" Man is misunderstood when he wants or hopes to meet GOD alone.."

" Stick up just pick up the stick up..."

" And there is no sun in my own summer.."

" Transpose or stop your life.."

DisTort 07....

DIstort 07.....makes u wondeR???? wat am i tlkin about...
it is basically abt dh fuckd up and chaotic year tht i had gone thru...survived i shld say....
lemme begin ...i mean i rmrbr it frm feb 14....lol not valentines day....i lost couple of my friends in a car crash...all my bhavans ka friends....dey wer headin sumwer 2wards alibaugh....had one friend whu survived doh.....felt terrible at tht time...
den came my bdy...haaaaaaaaa tht was fun...had my people around...celebrated...hogged...dh other majjja...had my dodo(supriya) by my side like alwys...!! good friends vishal and baneet ..plus Jk & his gf 2 add on more fun...
by end of feb....lost another set of friends in car crash.....dis time it was my skool friend...a friend whu i grew up wid...meet up wid evryday....i mean it was like faaark.....!!!! saw a funeral so closely 4 a 1st time....saw his cold pale feet on woods....arhhhhhhhhhhhhh really cnt get ova it..!!
Colg was fun...was away from all dh issues nd politics happenin....made a really cool movie "2:37" workd crazy ass on it....we really kicked ass...dh whole Braille Prod™ , ppl whu viewed it went like maddd on it..!!!
again dh sad part....lost again a set of friends in 4 bunglows car accident...dis time it was getin too much on my head...i mean wtf is happenin...loosin so mny friends....and dh common tin btvn all of dem is Me...Varun????
wen 2 Pune wid colg....had fun...den had xams...and guess wat i scored Distinction..!! lol
now u mus be wonderin wer is dh fckin sad part....??? lost soo mny friends thts it...no.!! wait dh year hasnt com 2 an end..!!
den der was a time wen we i mean 2 say me baneet supriya wer prtty much friendly or getin close 2 a diff set of ppl....dh ppl whu we thot could hv gone far...but it was jus beginin of a very bad fuck up....
Miss M...female whu i began tlkin bcoz of a common work on dh so cld dh class yearbook..!
friendship was weird....really we became damn good friends...
Third year began....we all wer good friends...really good friends..and i had my sweetheart by my side..!!whu else..lol
it was vishals bdy wen evrytin started fckin up.....i was shit drunk nd i was holdin Miss Ms hand under dh table and reachin out 4 my dodo....dis is weird....i dnt rmrbr bt dis is wat actualy started happenin...
my dodo obviously started hvin probs wid Miss M getin close 2 me and blah blah....scenes started erruptin...constant fights....constant scenes...too much 2 take...off all dh tins i least xpected my dodo 2 hv fights wid me ova sum silly issue...but yea was my fault...
dh emotional nd dh whole undstndin kinda cut off frm my dodo at tht time....and was on a full swing wid Miss M...didnt kno would get dis close 2 her...my best friend whu feel in love wid Miss M...i mean i fuckd it up 4 him...nd i fuckd it up bigtime 4 My dodo also...i broke up wid my dodo on mutual grounds...but she thot it was jus another silly breakup....she wanted 2 teach me a leason...hows life widout her...nd i took tins seriously dunno y...wat dh fuck was i thinkin...i col myself a CHUTIYA 4 IT..!!!
tried getin back to her doh...
i nd miss M began datin....was a huge shock 2 dh whole world...!! and dh biggest setback 2 my dodo and my best friend vish..!! der was dis day....rainy day...a perfect movie scene...der was dis 2 bus stop adjacent 2 ech other and it was Miss M and her friends it was me my dodo ,vish nd baneet...dis was dh day wch i regret of doin wat i did...takin dh decission wch i shldnt or shld hv thot on....lol im not here 2 tlk on wat i could hv did or wat shld hv i done...but fuck it...so...
i had 2 pick either one of dem..nd i like a complete moron went wid miss M....nd my dodo whu cried 4 me for al dis while...i didnt value her single tear...i take dh blame...her words " bring my varun back...plzzz bring my varun back..." it still haunts me...
one month of my relationship wid Miss M...nd i started realisin dis is nt wat i xactly want...dis is nt wat it is...i miss my dodo...and i broke of wid miss M and went back 2 my dodo...
2 my realise my dodo was way over me...she hated me so much 4 all tins i had done 2 her...
why wldnt she...?? and whu wldnt..
she was happy but i realised my mistake....and i thought we could get back....lol how stoopid of me...
dunno...tins jus got miserable from tht point...felt like a helpless freak...was walked ova constantly by ppl 4 my actions...didnt hv friends across...evryone saw me as tht biggest player 4 fuckin ppls life...4 godsakes i hvnt done netin...!!!!!!! dey talked as if i killed sumone...
i did a mistake...i repend..regret...now wat???HOW MUCH MORE WAS DH BIG FUCKIN QUESTION????
my dodo stil had her revenges against me...
i cried...trust me....it feels terrible and disgustin 2 see sumone u knew 4 so mny years..u loved walk pass by u and not evn notice wen ur around...
i mean her actions was justified..!! coz i hurted her...and she hurted me back...
revenge is dh word tht evryone seeks out 4.....isnt it????
its jus tht...i was lost...dh smoke...dh booze...dh pipes..kept on growin...nd i kept on loosin myself nd bcomin a bigtime embarrassment 2 dh public....more like a lost soul searchin for sumone or sumtin i didnt kno myself....
onetin i knew or learnt abt myself was....i didnt kno i cld cry so mch...lol!!!
gv my xams...scored distinction...!! had a smile...faked a grin..2 hide dh sadness
dh year came 2 an end...fckin finally an end...!!!! had a blast at nu years eve...!!
dis year is turnin out 2 be sum wat.....good...(touch wood)
hv my friends back....all of dem...my cousin whu is gonna be delivering a child...neva knew cld get dis close 2 her...she is damn cute nd sooooooooooooooooo comfortin..feels nice 2 hv a elder sis shadow ova u...!!!
i mean all i wana say is...or ask is...y dnt ppl undsntd? forgive and forget? y revenge?y hate?
y politics?y dance on others tunes?y betrayl?y dh lies?y dh conflicts?y dh fights?y dh adjustments?y dh ego?y dh pain?y dh sufferin?y dh chaos?y dh disturbance?y dh killin??? i mean really WHY DH FUCK....????
Trust me it feels miserable nd pathetic wen u sit outside a coffee shop...watch ur friends walk by you..act as if u dnt exist...and u sit der and wonder and the guilt in you kills u evry sec thinkin of wat bad u hv done....sumtin so beautiful u owned and cheerished ..is turned in2 a prickin thorn tht prick s u evrytime u reach it..!! trust me..it hurts..!!! dsnt take secs 2 hv tears down ur eyes...i may sound like a emotional pussy but yes...it hurts..!!!

Wacko Jacko..

Why do we look upto the sky, when it always looks down on us....
as we move..we move the clouds...
As we Stop...they stop..as we gaze...they gaze...
it seems so real..
even doh we kno its not real..
we live in our shell....Cracked..
light seeps in...
people peep in..
we wait..this wait...it hurts...

The Kill...

We pay 2 live.. pay to die.. pay to kill... pay to get killed.. This road that we drive on... drive on...drive on... makes us flip off nd on... people of our kind...people of our love stabd us..kill us..bury us and want us back alive...!!!! back alive....for another kill... i missed dh last bus... but i didnt miss dh last trip.. this trip that takes me far away... all that remains is made to cut.. made 2 bleed.. Black orgasms..guns..bombs..blood, the cries and all those lies... leaves a mark.. a mark that we see ..feel...know... but we still end it wid a diff remark...

Wierd Twist...

Black and white makes grey,
grey thoughts takin control ova r grey matter...
we enter your thoughts...
we pierce your skin...
so many scars hardly left wid any skin...
Life bcoms a dream on a stream of thoughts,
thoughts that take us for a spin....
a spin takes us far...far...far away...
from a place where we dont belong..
This thunder brings so much blunder...
as we surrender...surrender to the forces...
as we surrender...
do we really surrender...?? surrendeR???
we have come down to this point...
this point..this time..!!
were we slip away, fade away....
we take your life, our life...away...!!
this thing that kills...
this thing build by you...
it ends here...
but we dont end it here...!!!
we move on...killing...fuckin you over and over again..!!

This MOment......

Words that we speak...
words that we hear...
sumtin which we alwys fear...
people around us,
do they really surround us???
like a black cloud above us..
it gets damp around...
as we look for light around...
the wait...the silence...it hurts..
it cuts...it bleeds...
we live in this moment...
this moment...this curse...this is us...

Finally...!!!

Finally..!!! its here...my Blogg accnt..i mean yea...years nd years friends kept on tellin me 2 make an account rather dan writin on bits of paper nd junk...YEA..its here..!!!actually frankly speakin i wldnt hv ben writin ova here...bt der is a weird reason 4 dis...
i hv neva felt dis..i mean yea...nt ashamed 2 say...im currently living a pathetic nd miserable life, its not that i dnt hv food 2 eat...dnt hv a roof ova my head...but a pathetic nd miserable world wch i term it as my PERSONAL LIFE>>>!!!
was kinda badly sadly fuckd in dh head...thts life isnt it?? wats life widout dh word FUCK..OR BEN FUCKED...???
its jus 23 days more of my college nd im done...seriously im DONE>>>!!!
3 years of colleg...ahhhhhhhhhhh der hsnt ben netin gr8..!! yea der has ben moments wen i fell in love wid dis girl in dh 1st sem....i mean i stil love her....but der is fuckin sad politics nd sad drama attacted 2 dh whole so called me nd her ben 2gther...i mean...dh song by Slipknot "People = Shit " is so fckin true maaan!!!!!!
ppl jus dnt mind der fckin business..!! its like evrytin tht u do...or wana do...or did...is that little thing tht evryone wana kno....and y do dey wana kno...bcoz....dey r people..!!! lol
its like wen u wana be alone..dey dnt let u be alone...!!
wen u wana breakaway...dey hold u back...
im goin or sufferin of dis weird dilema....whum 2 trust...whose shoulder to cry on..wer 2 go 4 help...?? wer do i turn...evrywer der is one fckin thing called hate...and guess wat....The so called..." BLAME GAME.."
evryday i relate myself 2 dh song "Be Quiet & Drive.." i mean dis town actually dsnt feel mine...ben loosin ppl around...sadly really sadly...a friend from 3 years...Tikka, Baniya(i still love him doh) but dunno our frienship dsnt exist dh same way...i mean i hv fuckd it up so mch wid dem...guess dey are so tired in head...!!! tht v hv rchd a point wer dunno wat...nt gonna be tlkin nemore...or wat...jus dunno kno...bt i miss hvin a friend...a friend like dem...
im tired of fckin it up in my life actually...bt onetin i dnt nd i wont deny..i stand nd i live by my mistakes , neva ran away...neva accused neva pointed fingers nd said u kno wat dis is done by u nd not me..!!!
i mean i dnt fuck it up on purpose...its jus tht wen u hv too mch around u...it fucks up....men suck at multi taskin.....isnt it? or am i wrong??? lol
ahhhhhhhhh cutting dh sad part out....finally sum good shit...!!
met up wid a really gooooooooooooood friend after a long time..!!! imagine meetin a friend after 7 years and feels like ...wat dh fuck i met u ysdty also..lol..
a good friend of mine....B lady i col her...she dsnt like it...grew up wid her...did all sorts of kaands...she shifted...nd yea so back again wer we left..we pickin it up nicely doh...
ohhhhhhhhh fck...2moro is my bdy...dnt evn feel like celebratin...no xcitement dis time...maybe i hv grown old 2 feel dh xcitement..or dis fckin weed is in me...!!
den again der is dis weird friendship tht i hv wid sumone...we r friends way ova 4 years...!!! we hvnt seen ech other...yea yea u hv guessed it right..friend s ova internet...she lives in Lebanon..( i got dh spell right??) im her dorky...(dsnt sound good 2u....FUCK YOU..)
i col her my dodohead..!! i mean der has ben ups nd downs wid us...bt we hv survived evrytin...we wernt tlkin 4 like 6 months...but yea back on track again....she is really supportive..i mean i really miss out on her ben close 2me ova here....but yea..we both feel sumday we gonna meet..nd hellyeah we gonna meet..!!!(she is online tlkin 2me as i type..lol)
seee i do hv dh ability to write and write...!!!!!!! where r my fckin poems and artworks..!!???
all of dem r wid Pria..another vry good friend...dunno if she stil has dem..gvin it 2 dem like 3 years b4...
do hv sum 2 put up...yea so dey wil be up inshort while....
my 1st blogg...nd my 1st writing...mind and head is light....answer is...YES..!!! may sound stupid bt yea....!!!