DIstort 07.....makes u wondeR???? wat am i tlkin about...
it is basically abt dh fuckd up and chaotic year tht i had gone thru...survived i shld say....
lemme begin ...i mean i rmrbr it frm feb 14....lol not valentines day....i lost couple of my friends in a car crash...all my bhavans ka friends....dey wer headin sumwer 2wards alibaugh....had one friend whu survived doh.....felt terrible at tht time...
den came my bdy...haaaaaaaaa tht was fun...had my people around...celebrated...hogged...dh other majjja...had my dodo(supriya) by my side like alwys...!! good friends vishal and baneet ..plus Jk & his gf 2 add on more fun...
by end of feb....lost another set of friends in car crash.....dis time it was my skool friend...a friend whu i grew up wid...meet up wid evryday....i mean it was like faaark.....!!!! saw a funeral so closely 4 a 1st time....saw his cold pale feet on woods....arhhhhhhhhhhhhh really cnt get ova it..!!
Colg was fun...was away from all dh issues nd politics happenin....made a really cool movie "2:37" workd crazy ass on it....we really kicked ass...dh whole Braille Prod™ , ppl whu viewed it went like maddd on it..!!!
again dh sad part....lost again a set of friends in 4 bunglows car accident...dis time it was getin too much on my head...i mean wtf is happenin...loosin so mny friends....and dh common tin btvn all of dem is Me...Varun????
wen 2 Pune wid colg....had fun...den had xams...and guess wat i scored Distinction..!! lol
now u mus be wonderin wer is dh fckin sad part....??? lost soo mny friends thts it...no.!! wait dh year hasnt com 2 an end..!!
den der was a time wen we i mean 2 say me baneet supriya wer prtty much friendly or getin close 2 a diff set of ppl....dh ppl whu we thot could hv gone far...but it was jus beginin of a very bad fuck up....
Miss M...female whu i began tlkin bcoz of a common work on dh so cld dh class yearbook..!
friendship was weird....really we became damn good friends...
Third year began....we all wer good friends...really good friends..and i had my sweetheart by my side..!!whu else..lol
it was vishals bdy wen evrytin started fckin up.....i was shit drunk nd i was holdin Miss Ms hand under dh table and reachin out 4 my dodo....dis is weird....i dnt rmrbr bt dis is wat actualy started happenin...
my dodo obviously started hvin probs wid Miss M getin close 2 me and blah blah....scenes started erruptin...constant fights....constant scenes...too much 2 take...off all dh tins i least xpected my dodo 2 hv fights wid me ova sum silly issue...but yea was my fault...
dh emotional nd dh whole undstndin kinda cut off frm my dodo at tht time....and was on a full swing wid Miss M...didnt kno would get dis close 2 her...my best friend whu feel in love wid Miss M...i mean i fuckd it up 4 him...nd i fuckd it up bigtime 4 My dodo also...i broke up wid my dodo on mutual grounds...but she thot it was jus another silly breakup....she wanted 2 teach me a leason...hows life widout her...nd i took tins seriously dunno y...wat dh fuck was i thinkin...i col myself a CHUTIYA 4 IT..!!!
tried getin back to her doh...
i nd miss M began datin....was a huge shock 2 dh whole world...!! and dh biggest setback 2 my dodo and my best friend vish..!! der was dis day....rainy day...a perfect movie scene...der was dis 2 bus stop adjacent 2 ech other and it was Miss M and her friends it was me my dodo ,vish nd baneet...dis was dh day wch i regret of doin wat i did...takin dh decission wch i shldnt or shld hv thot on....lol im not here 2 tlk on wat i could hv did or wat shld hv i done...but fuck it...so...
i had 2 pick either one of dem..nd i like a complete moron went wid miss M....nd my dodo whu cried 4 me for al dis while...i didnt value her single tear...i take dh blame...her words " bring my varun back...plzzz bring my varun back..." it still haunts me...
one month of my relationship wid Miss M...nd i started realisin dis is nt wat i xactly want...dis is nt wat it is...i miss my dodo...and i broke of wid miss M and went back 2 my dodo...
2 my realise my dodo was way over me...she hated me so much 4 all tins i had done 2 her...
why wldnt she...?? and whu wldnt..
she was happy but i realised my mistake....and i thought we could get back....lol how stoopid of me...
dunno...tins jus got miserable from tht point...felt like a helpless freak...was walked ova constantly by ppl 4 my actions...didnt hv friends across...evryone saw me as tht biggest player 4 fuckin ppls life...4 godsakes i hvnt done netin...!!!!!!! dey talked as if i killed sumone...
i did a mistake...i repend..regret...now wat???HOW MUCH MORE WAS DH BIG FUCKIN QUESTION????
my dodo stil had her revenges against me...
i cried...trust me....it feels terrible and disgustin 2 see sumone u knew 4 so mny years..u loved walk pass by u and not evn notice wen ur around...
i mean her actions was justified..!! coz i hurted her...and she hurted me back...
revenge is dh word tht evryone seeks out 4.....isnt it????
its jus tht...i was lost...dh smoke...dh booze...dh pipes..kept on growin...nd i kept on loosin myself nd bcomin a bigtime embarrassment 2 dh public....more like a lost soul searchin for sumone or sumtin i didnt kno myself....
onetin i knew or learnt abt myself was....i didnt kno i cld cry so mch...lol!!!
gv my xams...scored distinction...!! had a smile...faked a grin..2 hide dh sadness
dh year came 2 an end...fckin finally an end...!!!! had a blast at nu years eve...!!
dis year is turnin out 2 be sum wat.....good...(touch wood)
hv my friends back....all of dem...my cousin whu is gonna be delivering a child...neva knew cld get dis close 2 her...she is damn cute nd sooooooooooooooooo comfortin..feels nice 2 hv a elder sis shadow ova u...!!!
i mean all i wana say is...or ask is...y dnt ppl undsntd? forgive and forget? y revenge?y hate?
y politics?y dance on others tunes?y betrayl?y dh lies?y dh conflicts?y dh fights?y dh adjustments?y dh ego?y dh pain?y dh sufferin?y dh chaos?y dh disturbance?y dh killin??? i mean really WHY DH FUCK....????
Trust me it feels miserable nd pathetic wen u sit outside a coffee shop...watch ur friends walk by you..act as if u dnt exist...and u sit der and wonder and the guilt in you kills u evry sec thinkin of wat bad u hv done....sumtin so beautiful u owned and cheerished ..is turned in2 a prickin thorn tht prick s u evrytime u reach it..!! trust me..it hurts..!!! dsnt take secs 2 hv tears down ur eyes...i may sound like a emotional pussy but yes...it hurts..!!!
